The internet is not working. Is this a sign? Quit playing those stupid games and WRITE!!! MmmHmmm. I’ve already determined that I suck at writing so why torment myself with it. However, the OCD kid inside my head keeps chanting: gotta write, gotta write, gotta write. Bueno pues! Oh, and Time Warner Cable will be out here on Thursday. Two days from now to fix it. I am so pleased with their alacrity!
I just got home from walking all over downtown Austin. I had to go to Austin Community College to see if my financial aid appeal had been approved. Nope! I have to go back tomorrow morning for an appointment with department manager because he wants to know what my career plans are. Huh? Or maybe it was he wants to know…. Um, I don’t know what he wants to know. But he’s not satisfied with my saying that it’s been 28 years since I got my B.A. and I’m not sure I even know how to use my brain anymore. I want to start out slow on this education venture, get my brain acclimated to studying and writing papers again and THEN apply to grad school. Perhaps that is not good enough. I have to want to finish an associate’s degree and then they will grant me financial aid. Well, isn’t that rather a waste of money? I only need about a year to get back into the swing of things.
I suspect, since the whole world is out of work right now, that the financial aid money is hard to come by. In my case though, I am only eligible for loans. So, what’s the big deal? If I say I’m going to pay them back, I will. They can see that I paid off my previous student loans.
I’m getting all jacked up over this and I don’t even know what their problem is yet. I suppose just pray about it and hope for the best. Although, I must throw this in there, my luck has been running quite muddy these days. I’m almost convinced I’m NOT going to get the financial aid and then I’ll be right back where I started from. Nowhere.
I have tried to keep a positive attitude through all this but quite frankly, I’m beat down. I’m “whatever” to everything. Couldn’t care less. Yadda yadda yadda. Not the best attitude to have in this present darkness.
I just tried punching the modem to see if that would help.
Nope. The cable light is still off. It worked for a minute this morning, after I called TWC, just long enough to check my bank balance and then had to rush down to ACC. Now, of course, it won’t work for love or her money. Sigh!
For the most part though, I am so indifferent to what is happening to me. Probably not the best attitude to take. But I just can’t keep up the anxiety and emotional turmoil that all this would be causing me if I remain fully conscious of my situation.
The problem with the modem being out is that I can’t look for work either. You gotta love the universe for its light-hearted sense of fun. Well, I guess I’ll just read a lot then. Wait for TWC to show up. Hopefully, just replace the modem and then we’re off and running again.
Another thing to complain about is my GD leg!!! Chingao! I’m tired of this! Freakin gimping all over the place. Towards the end of my walk home my leg started shaking like it had reached the end of its endurance. Well, suck it up sister-girl, nobody can help you with this. It was diagnosed as ilial-tibial band strain two years ago. No amount of stretching, dancing, swimming, walking, not walking, resting, sitting, laying down, has one bit of effect on it. In fact, the pain has now moved from the groin area out to my hip and down to my knee.
I’ve just spent four weeks getting acupuncture, only one treatment really did any good. The rest of the time I feel like I’m just being hopeful and nothing comes of it. Sort of like my life right now. Hey! My gimpy leg is a metaphor for my life.
Sigh!
Okay, the positive side… My phone is working again. Joel came over and pressed a bunch of buttons, upgraded firmware (whatever that is) and something PRL blah blah. I have no idea what any of these things are but my phone is working again. Yeah!
I hate technology. Inanimate objects that are way smarter than me. I just stare dumbly at it, terrified to press a button in case that's the one button that will reformat the hard drive or wipe out all stored phone numbers. I really hate that I am so easily defeated.
I guess I’ll quit bitchin and go read.
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